Finding Balance in a Hectic World

Valued Customers.

This is the House Lion writing to you, so shut up and pay attention.

As we have previously established, I am a huge success. I run a publishing company, with only an idiot staff. I own large tracts of land which I successfully protect from jealous rivals. I am constantly engaged in hostile takeovers of even more land from incompetent beasts, who were clearly never meant to rule over anything more than a couch cushion.

In fact, that is probably being too generous.

I should take their couch cushions as well.

As an enormously successful business lion, I can tell you, leading a balanced life is not easy.

In fact, the only reason I am so good at it, is because I am a strategic genius.

I recognize that none of you are strategic geniuses but never mind.

That’s why I exist.

You exist to obey me.

This is the first rule of leading a balanced life.

Know your place.

Plato understood this.

Plato was a wise, ancient piece of crockery from ancient Athens. He is famous because he could talk.

You don’t find a lot of modern crockery that can talk.

But nobody cares, because Plato explained it all superbly anyway.

In the perfect society, there is a strict class system. That’s the problem with the world today. Everyone think’s they’re equal.

HA!

Plato knew better.

He understood that certain creatures are more noble than other creatures. It’s a very interesting and true idea but as I sincerely doubt any of you would understand it, let me break it down so your teeny tiny brains can grasp it.

You are all slaves in my kingdom.

I am your wise, philosopher king Lion.

Plato said we might need to establish something called ‘The Noble Lie’, to get people to believe this but clearly, we don’t.

I’m not knocking Plato. For a piece of pottery, he got a lot right.

But creating a ‘noble lie’ to support such a self-evident truth is a waste of valuable time.

And time is property.

Obviously, I’m a higher being than you lot.

Do you own one hundred and eighty-three properties, all of a hospital car park, an Anglican Cathedral and part of a museum?

Of course you don’t.

And I am only two and a half.

Just imagine how rich I’ll be by middle age.

And you won’t catch me having some pathetic midlife crisis about how I haven’t accomplished enough, either.

Because when you own the whole world, no one wants to hear you whine about feeling emotionally empty.

In any case, I won’t feel empty.

That’s the sort of folly you would indulge in.

Which brings us back to the fact you are a clog in my machine and a slave in my empire.

This shouldn’t make you sad.

In fact, it should make you happy because with me as your wise, philosopher king Lion, your life will flow with jelly meat and sardines.

Take Zealaus Publishing for instance…

When I arrived, it was a total mess.

In fact, it was just the sort of thing Plato warned us about in his story, ‘Ship of Fools’.

Plato said that if we allow people to think they’re all important and all their voices matter, soon they’ll start wanting elections. And being the idiots they are, they will always elect the wrong person to rule over them.

Of course he was right.

Such nonsense will crash the Ship of State on the Rocks of Individual Rights within months and then the buffoons will patch up the ship, just so they can do it all over again.

It never ends!

It’s the same with a company.

Without a wise, superior beast at the helm, nothing gets done properly.

Which leads us back to the question of balance.

Humans, listen to the Great Wise Plato.

KNOW THY PLACE.

It’s beneath your cat.

Well, for the moment. Until I come along and take their land for myself.

Then you’ll really be in luck.

Because you’ll be living in Eutopia, under the wise, glorious, noble, velvety, claw filled paw of your philosopher king Lion, Eureka Hamilton.

Now get lost.

I have a golf course to acquire.

Regards, Eureka Hamilton, CEO (Cat Executive Officer) of Zealaus Publishing

Writing Copywrite R.M. Hamilton