Attention! Attention! The House Lion has fallen in love. WITH THE MOST BEAUTIFUL lady CAT IN THE WHOLE WORLD!

My IQ is so enormous, there isn’t a genius society on earth that can handle me.

You probably think my dating life is a thing of great wonderfulness and ease.

It should be.

But astonishingly, it’s got its issues.

I’m away on an important business trip. I’m not going to burden your small homo sapient brains with all the details; it is enough for you to know that upon this season hangs the fate of the entire world.

If certain strategic mergers are not made within this small window of opportunity, a terrible, awful fate would befall the world.

NO MORE CATS!

As an enormously successful business lion, I can tell you, leading a balanced life is not easy.

In fact, the only reason I am so good at it, is because I am a strategic genius.

I recognize that none of you are strategic geniuses but never mind.

That’s why I exist.

Hello humans. This is the House Lion writing to you, so stop whatever you are doing and pay attention to me.

Although I am a strong and powerful leader, inclined to forceful displays of displeasure when I am not obeyed, I do have a softer side.

It comes and goes. A bit like Halley’s Comet.

To our valued customers.

This is the House Lion writing to you, so stop whatever you’re doing and pay attention to me.

Since taking over as CEO at Zealaus Publishing here in Rose Bank House, I have been making changes.